words for my soul...

I loved loved loved reading this post from purlbee that talks about the domestic lives of women past and present... take a read...

"Although visually stunning and inspiring to read, the pictures and stories in The Gentle Art of Domesticity are not what drew me in the most. In the introduction, Jane calls attention to something that I and I'd guess lot of women of my generation think seriously about every day--the choice many of us have between staying at home with family or going out into the workforce, or even doing both. She remembers that in the seventies (when I was born), feminism was mainstream again and young girls were being raised to have a greater sense of independence through career. To the feminist thinkers of the time, the domestic arts were a throwback to the days when women's lives were relegated to the home, and soon enough they became devalued as quaint and irrelevant. Having become a woman with both a professional and a domestic life, Jane reports that she sometimes felt embarrassed by her love of knitting, sewing, and baking and hid her creations, thinking she was alone in valuing these skills. Well, it's certainly clear by the publication of this book, the popularity of yarnstorm and other blogs like it, and the resurgence of craft circles and retailers that she isn't alone. I know that I enjoy spending much of my spare time in the kitchen, or with a pile of wool in my lap, or at the sewing machine, and that I feel great satisfaction in both the process and the product of these pursuits. And most of all, I'm glad that I was given a choice. Thank you Jane!"

I too feel that some of my favorite times are sitting quietly on the floor with my knitting in my lap, trying a new recipe, wrapping a gift, or sewing at my machine. I want to be less embarrased of this side of my heart, I want to share these things with other women in my life. I want to fully enjoy the wonders of being a girl...

kids are funny...

so today, we went in to evaluate a little boy with a leukemia, four years old, who had a bone marrow transplant yesterday. I walk into the room expecting to find a weak, quiet still little guy laying in bed, lethargic and shy. Um yeah... instead, I found a little bald boy, with huge brown eyes standing beside his bed showing me his yoga poses... no kidding, his yoga poses... and not the easy ones, the really hard ones where you have to balance on one foot. He then proceded to ask me "can you bring me a little running machine, because I'm really good at running, but I need a little running machine, because I am little..." All this was done as he stood his tiny self up by the bed in only a monster t-shirt and a diaper, connected by at least 10 wires to his IV pole... Kids are funny, and completely amazing.

home again...

my sweet husband is home... sleeping safely in our bed... what more could a girl ask for? sweet dreams-amb

when ryan is gone...

when ryan is gone, i am typically a sad, melodramatic, ball of emotions. i don't like being left behind... this is a theme that has been consistent in my life since i was a little girl. My mom used to tell me these hilarious stories of how I would pretty much go to the ends of the earth to prevent being left out of a family activity. I'm a "clan" person as ryan calls it, I do best when I have one or a few people around me that I am completely safe with, that I know won't let me down and that i can just stand by if things get scary or unpredictable. What can I say? I'm a shy girl at heart.

Anyways, this week since ryan has been in Uganda, I've been trying another path, the one that is less afraid to hang out with my neighbors instead of hiding away alone in my apartment, the one that makes plans and has fun on my own. I want so much to be a wife that is interesting and independent in that mysterious kind of way, but usually this really just isn't me. I'd rather snuggle with ryan on the couch and let him be the interesting one... I'm okay with that, I fit there. But when he goes on trips, I'm forced to unearth the more brave me and do things on my own, and I'm really thankful for these times. I'm thankful that when he gets home from world traveling that I have a few of my own stories to share. That as he's telling me stories of Africa, I can tell him stories of our neighborhood, the kids at work, and time with friends. So I'm trying to keep being brave, and marveling at how my friend Robin went without her husband for months when he was in the army, without any family near by (you amazing me robs!)

So its been a good week, so far at least. I'm so thankful for busy days at the hospital with kids that make me laugh so hard! I'm thankful for the fact that cell phones work in Uganda, and I'm thankful for a God that I know is with me all the time, not just when ryan is gone (even though I'm especially thankful for this!) but all the time... in every way, and that He cares about the little parts of me that still get lonely, shy and afraid. love love, amb