finally finished...

I've been so busy lately, that I've been a terrible blogger. I've finally finished my masters degree this week and look forward to graduation on Sunday and finally starting a "real" job for the first time in my adult life. Ryan asked me yesterday if it felt good to be finished and I don't think that its really sunk in yet. I totally anticipate waking up on Monday morning and not knowing what to do with myself. I'm thankful for time to relax and take a break, but worry that I will lose all of the momentum I have gained from working over the last 6 months. I still have days when I really don't want to work at all. I think that I would be content to wake up, drink coffee, walk olive, and sew or knit or read or play until ryan is done with work. But there is this other nagging side of me that really enjoys the thinking and challenge of working with kids. I love that its hard and that it makes my brain hurt and keeps me on my toes. I love that I feel like it matters. But I am so tired at the end of the day, and often sad that life is not fair, and that some tiny babies don't even get one day of normal or easy. So what to do? For now I'll wait and try to be patient. I'll try to convince myself that its good for me to apply for jobs and interview even though I have such a hard time getting started with something new. I'll wait to see what comes next... be back soon, love amb